Sometimes, the Lord puts something in front of you that's hard to miss.
This past month, there has been a theme in my time with the Lord. Between the Aftermath series at Echo and Sublime, Undaunted by Christine Caine, The Circle Maker, Let's All Be Brave, and even worship, I began to catch on that maybe the Lord was trying to tell me something.
I am not brave.
In fact, most times, I am the complete opposite. It's no secret that insecurity is something I struggle with, but lately it has reared its ugly head so often that I have felt its debilitating grip threaten to pull me back into a dangerous pit.
I was becoming so insecure and fearful in even the smallest things-- so unwilling to deviate from anything that brought me comfort. I was always so quick to answer "I can't" to things that made me the slightest bit uncomfortable.
I have heard and read about the brave life God has for me so many times, and at first I didn't want to hear it. Being brave was for, well, brave people. That wasn't me. I couldn't do brave things in my life. I was shy and awkward and insecure and not good enough to be used by God.
I am learning (and rejoicing) that that is SO not the truth.
I went camping this past weekend at Red Top Mountain, and there was a little bath house up the hill from our site. Every time we frequented it, my spirit chuckled. 'Comfort Station,' the sign read. Though the place was FAR from comforting, it made me think about comfort zones and how terrified I am to leave them.
I like comfort zones. They're comfortable. (hello). They don't require effort, and definitely don't involve any sort of reliance on the cross. They're safe, and I'm all about safety.
But as Christ followers, we are not called to comfort. We are called to Christ and to follow Him regardless of our situation or how we feel.
Jesus calls us out beyond the shore into the waves, and even though it may seem scary and illogical, the waves are the safest place to be. That's where He is.
Last week, I went to the fair with every intention of standing on the sidelines while my friends rode the rides. I hate rides. I've never liked them (okay... I've never liked the idea of them. I'd never actually ridden them before). I remember literally looking up at the spinning death traps and telling my friends, "I can't, y'all. I just can't. No." But in that moment, it's as if the Lord whispered to me, "Why are you afraid? I created you to be brave." Brave? Lord, I argued. Do you see these things? Death. DEATH, Lord. No, I won't.
But somehow, despite my better judgment, I found myself in the line for the Scary Death Trap called the Cyclops. It's one of those spinny, twirly, lifty devices that is practically made to make its participants ralph up their fried oreos and funnel cake. We inched our way to the front of the line and my palms began to sweat. I can do this. I am brave. I can do this. I am brave. As I strapped myself into the ride, feet dangling, I was practically chanting to myself: I am brave. I am brave. I'M GOING TO DIE but I am brave. I am brave I am brave I am brave.
The ride slowly lifted us into the air and started a sickening dance of lifts, spins, and drops. I AM BRAVE I AM BRAVE I AM BRAVE LOOOOOOOORD WHYYYYYYY-- Y'all, I sincerely thought death was coming. This life was over and I was about to see my Jesus. Goodbye Kennesaw, hello New Earth. The dance continued until finally it slowed and I vowed to never, ever, do that again.
But I did it. I walked away. And you know what? It was fun.
I am not brave. But with Christ in me, I can be.
Choosing bravery in Jesus can look like a lot of things. It can look like riding scary fair rides for the first time, or sleeping outside in a hammock under the stars when you're used to your warm bed. It can look like sharing the gospel with a stranger at Starbucks. It can look like speaking up when the world says you shouldn't. It can look like dreaming up big dreams for your future, knowing no dream is too big for our big God.
He has called us to a life so much bigger, grander, and yes-- FUNNER-- than we could ever dream up for ourselves. We must simply be willing to leave our comfort zones behind.
I'm tired of letting my "I can'ts" get in the way of my God who Can. I am ready to embrace the abundant life that Jesus promises His followers.
And so, I resolve to let Jesus make me brave every day. I resolve to dream big dreams with the expectation that God can make them happen. I resolve to relinquish control of my life to the One who gives life. And I resolve to follow Him in this life of adventure.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
-2 Timothy 1:7
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
-Ephesians 3:20-21
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
-John 10:10
